Disappointment

I applied for a job in Australia, thinking I wouldn’t get it. I got a call back for an interview.

 

I went through a rainbow of emotions leading up to the interview. Fear, excitement, terror, joy. You name it, I had it. Finally, when the time came for the interview, I calmed but was still nervous. I forgot a few terms here and there, but overall I felt I had done well. I was told I would be contacted early in the week about their decision. I started to research into what it would be to move out there for 5 months. Talked to S about the logistics of everything. I went fully into it. I didn’t want to go into this idea too blindly.

Finally, the time came.Early in the week. Monday for them came and went, a friend heard back saying they were interested. On my end? Nothing. Ok. Ok, calm down.  Maybe tomorrow. Tuesday came. Tuesday went. I heard nothing from them. But my last company contacted me wanting to know if I was interested. I held off and sent the Austrailian place an email to try and get an answer.

Finally today. They got back to me with a no. The same no I always get ” you need more experience.” It an exhausting thing to hear over and over. As this industry changes, it feels its demands are only for senior level artists. But the thing is, they are burning out or want to move along and do something else. Meanwhile, those of us that work so hard to try and get the experience to be considered will never gain that experience that is oh so needed. I have been in different positions for coming up to 4 years. And yet, I am still a junior. Over and over I am a junior. I see other people move on, but me, the one helping and teaching is still a junior. Am I doomed to sit still and watch others move ahead?