Telling the Secrets

Well, I did it. I told my dad about the sexual abuse from when I was a kid. He didn’t react like my mom, who was absolutely furious (not at me but just that it happened). He was very calm, and the first thing he said, which I personally found to be the most pragmatic response. ” Well, that fucking sucks.” 

Some people might find that to be taking it lightly. But my dad has never been overly touchy-feely. This is the heaviest situation brought forward between my dad and I since my parents separated nearly 20 years ago. He did hug me and say he was sorry it happened. He asked the questions he felt he need answers to. My step-mom new about it first of all my parent. She said she would keep an eye on him, as she figured he would be pondering the situation for a while. I think she is correct there, as I could see in his eyes everytime he looked at me that he was thinking things through. Like he had a new understanding.

I hope this helps us be a bit closer, as we have never been all that close. Not to say we didn’t get along, we get along just fine. But we never had that “daddy’s girl” type relationship. It was more like he treated me as an adult. And we had that kind of friendship you have as an adult if that makes any sense.

Life Without Work

Well, here it is. My first day not working.

I would like to say I chose to leave my company. That I found a better job and will get paid a livable wage. I didn’t though. My work went through a bunch of layoffs. Well over 100 people here in Canada. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t bummed to be one of the people caught in that.I liked the team I was on. I liked my project. But here we are.

The last two weeks were very frustrating. Finding out who was being kept and who wasn’t. And then the pity ” Hey, how are you doing?” or ” Have you found anything yet?!” It was what I looked forward to the most out of today. Not having those questions asked every damn time I saw someone. I get that they care, but it is like rubbing salt in the wound. If I found work, I would have said so. And most interviews had been for out of town companies. Which I couldn’t take, as I can’t do two rents. I cracked my phone screen last night as well. I needed this phone to last me until November. I hope I can keep it going till then with no issues.

Not everything is doom and gloom though. I did finally get an interview for something local. I should find out soon what the deal is with it. They just want to check my references. I am going to start my vacation at the end of the week. Which will be nice, go see family and have a nice drive along the way with S.